When I found out that I would be doing a photoshoot for Sheerfull with Alaa, my first thought was that I need to get some more exciting and colorful clothes (spoiler alert: I didn’t). My next thought was, “can I lose 5-10 pounds in approximately 72 hours?” (spoiler alert: I couldn’t). As ridiculous and superficial as both of these worries might sound, I’ve always had a lot of trouble imagining myself in the fashion world. Listen, I’ve seen The Devil Wears Prada, I know how these things go. I should just politely back away, while I still have my dignity and lumpy sweaters.
But Fall is about new beginnings. The environment around us changes so drastically, and we are forced to change along with it. We let go of pieces of life, because that is how we grow. The challenge is to accept this, and act accordingly. So, this fall, my challenge is letting go of the idea of some future self. Why not just do this photoshoot as the person I am right now, in the clothes I like to wear today, and in the body I have at this moment; who I am right now is already enough
"this fall, my challenge is letting go of the idea of some future self. Why not just do this photoshoot as the person I am right now, in the clothes I like to wear today, and in the body I have"
See, like plenty of women, my weight fluctuates. A lot. For a while I would buy or keep clothes in the hopes that if my weight fluctuates back down, I could fit in them. But I’m trying to accept that it’s not about idealizing some future body that I’ll probably never have. I need to be proud of my body, and what it does for me today—even if it’s not perfect. I’m just going to go do this scary thing and I’m going to look the very best I can because truthfully, I, like everyone else, deserve to flex every now and again.
And flex I did.
Zara sweater (similar here), Zara pants (similar here), Corra Stacked Heel Bootie
I put on my favorite suede high-heeled booties and boss-lady pants, and I decided this fall, I’m worrying less about other people are doing. I’ve always had a problem with comparing myself to others. Alaa, whose style I totally admire, and who has the coolest most eclectic closet, has amazing taste. But dressing like her isn’t authentic to who I am today. I had to let go of some notion that there is a future self out there who has a signature color-blocking style. There is just me, who loves neutral tones. So, while I admittedly did go to Zara to buy a new grey dress—it is a dress for the person I am, not some made up person I might become (I think—I mean, I’m only human, right?).
Cultivating my personal style is a way for me to define myself, without looking around and feeling lost by what everybody else is doing. It’s not the only way--but it’s a start. Learning to dress for the body I have is a way of caring for myself, because I’m not waiting for some future self to look good for. Maybe there is no future self who has it all figured out, runs 10ks, and has the perfect capsule closet. Maybe there is just me, here today. This year is all about accepting who you are right now in this body, and dressing for that person.
Zara dress, Vintage Cartier watch (similar here), Good Stock earrings (similar here)
"Cultivating my personal style is a way for me to define myself, without looking around and feeling lost by what everybody else is doing."
Who you are right now deserves to feel beautiful, whatever beautiful might mean or look like for you. There is no future self. There is just you, here, today. So, what are you going to wear?
Fall Fashion Begins with You: Identity Series
